Blatherings of an Alter Ego

Change is Hard, Change is Good.

2011-10-13T13:05:00.001-07:00

It was stressful! I was a mess. I admit I wasn't handling things very well.

There was a combination of things that got me through. There was a book that really helped me tap into gratitude. I wasn't feeling thankful at all, I was feeling put upon, bitter, and terribly overwhelmed and this book helped my see the folly in my attitude. There were sessions with Dr. Sarah which helped me put things into a more realistic perspective and there was a family vacation that filled me with love and gave me rest. This combination of wonderful things left me feeling renewed! Cured. Evolved! I could deal with anything, spiders, dust, mold, tantrums, financial retrictions. I felt like the change went deep and long. I thought I was a new woman. Then October came along and although I didn't completely loose it, that familiar discontent started nosing it's way into my expansive and flexible mindset. I thought oh crap, my old self, she's back and she's bitchy! But as it turns out I did evolve a bit at least, I grew enough to welcome my old crabby self back with a surpressed grin. And I let future me show present me how to breathe and not get so attatched to that poor me pattern. I mean we came such a long way in a short time! And if we can't snap out of it we can always walk down to the beach and let the complaints melt away with the sun as it dips into the ocean for the night's rest.

I can see now that all that pain and resistance was not helpful at all. Through leaving that apaprtment that we called home for so long we have gain an awesome new neighborhood. Our new place is pretty cool. There is a lot more insect life which I must admit to finding very unpleasant but overall it is so much better. The sunlight alone is amazing. You would never know it was a basement suite if you had to judge by the amount of light it gets alone. The kitchen is large and great and has become the center of our lives which totally beats the television centric life we did have. The yard is amazing and the landlord is so kind. And I do still have a coffee shop and groceries near by but nearer still is the ocean and the forest. I really like it down here. I am feeling good about the changes we were forced to make and I am hoping that from now on I will be able to recognize when change is due and act of my own accord rather than being put in a situation where I feel pushed and forced and out of control.

Nothing But Blue Skies From Now On.

Monday

2011-06-06T07:52:00.001-07:00

Maybe Monday could be the day where I attempt to purge my brain of this and that.

So, still no apartment. I seem to be disengaging from my stress and then becoming it for a bit, and then of course it is too panicky so I disengage again. For every 7 listings you get 1 viewing and so far for every 3 viewings there are 3 places that deepen my anxiety and despair.

And that my friends just leads me back to feeling frustrated at the the way I have gotten to this point. I feel like I am in this situation because of my refusal to even acknowledge certain paths, or certain responsibilities. Well, I feel like I couldn't let myself believe in having what I wanted, or even know what I wanted. I feel like I just never really knew what I wanted. But secretly I have always known what I wanted but was too afraid of wanting it, getting it, doing the work to get it, to really acknowledge that I wanted it. So now, I feel like I need it but I still have all this fear of flailing and and being laughed at, which I do feel is silly, I live with this fear of being snickered at by people I think are jerks anyhow. Sigh. But then there is the fear of doing it. Of actually being busy all the time. Of never having any downtime. Which is also sort of crazy because it seems that i live in this state of half life right now where I never get anything completely done and I never get to completely relax. Possibly if I just got everything done then relaxed I would get everything done and then get to relax. Ya, I know, I don't really think that could happen and apparently my relaxation is a higher priority than an organized home because I always sit down here in front of this computer before things are polished off so to speak.

Gah, well, soon enough I will be throwing tons of stuff and hopefully organizing it all into boxes. So we can move into the perfect new home that I trust is out there for us. (I do trust, the perfect home will appear)

So to go back to an earlier statement, where I said I was afraid to flail. Well I still haven't gotten the Shiva Nata starter pack yet. So for all you hundreds of blog readers [(=] who also like jewellery, use the coupon code shivanata for 15% off in my Etsy shop. Proceeds from the Jewellery shop will go towards my Shiva Nata starter pack. Then watch out boy!!

Well I could keep going about grocery lists, Reiki progress,detrimental spending habits and on and on, but instead I am going to sign off and hit the shower.

Peace out!!
xoxo

Just Make it Stop!

2011-06-03T12:36:00.000-07:00

Oh my God I am so overwhelmed!! My pattern in this sort of situation is complete shutdown, but that is just not possible or helpful so I just keep trudging ahead but I am confused and ineffectual.

Monday

2011-05-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

Well, an elusive bug has hit my family! Mark sleeps his chest cold away and Sadie randomly pukes and poos. Well it's really not a bug. Merely a cold and a consumed crayon, but we have managed to miss 2 exercise classes which is a bummer. I am pleased that I am not congested, puking or pooing due to sickness. Sadie also seems fine now that the decision to stay home has been made. And it's raining. Is it May? Or September? I can't quite tell. We need to get out but the parks are wet. I should hit the streets with my phone and see what new 2 bedroom haven awaits us.

We had a lovely weekend with Nanny and Poppa. There was cake and visits with Ryan, Renee and Simon. We can't wait until September when they come back.

Blankity Blank Blank

2011-05-27T08:43:00.000-07:00

You know?

Sheesh. Well in my mind I am always declaring my intention to journal and to work things out. In reality I spend the small and separate amounts of spare time on this computer lamely switching between Etsy and Facebook and Twitter. Just wasting time, so maybe I should just use this blog as my journal. But I guess I am not all that comfortable with spewing my unexamined thoughts out to the world and people that I actually know. This blog is linked to my facebook account I think. Maybe that can be undone and then I can spew in anonymity.

So in point form, some random reoccurring thoughts:

We have to move by August 10th and Mark really wants to stay in this neighborhood and I am worried about the hike in rent we will be facing and the hit in size and comforts we likely will be taking. Also I feel like we are living a half life just to live in this expensive yet lovely city and I am stressed.

It felt like last night that there wasn't 1 thing in my life right now that is just purely relaxing. Is this true? I am not sure, seems like it though.

I want to start doing Reiki for a living. To be a Reiki practitioner, not just a dabbler. I am ready after 12 years, I am ready. Now to put it into place. I am going to take the steps of doing the practicum to be a CRA practitioner, so I need to practice and have the people I practice on fill out a form. Are you interested in some Reiki and helping achieve this goal? Let me know.

I want to buy the Shiva Nata starter kit and start doing the dance of Shiva. But I am scared of spending money. It isn't even much money really.

Oh financial tightness, I am open to the lesson that you are, open! What is the insight I need to wake up to to have you move on. What I am thinking is that it is just about choices and responsibilty and I just haven't wanted responsibility and I didn't and still don't really know how to make choices that align with what I want but I am working on it. And before I was too scared to look at what was actually happening let alone at what I truly wanted, so just looking and being honest about what I see and feel is good. And opening to the possibilty and not believing the liar in my head. These things help.

Another thing... I hate routine. This is something I believe about myself. For instance, I can only seem to take my vitamins for about 4 days in a row before some internal rebel refuses to take part in that particular ritual anymore. but.., yet, every evening I think to myself, self, just zip around and do the productive little things that will slingshot your day, dishwsher, laundry, shower, feeding, those things, yet every morning I NEED to feed the girl, make coffee and sit in front of the computer and drink 3 cups of coffee. It's a routine that my internal rebel likes. So my rebel is stronger than my I don't even know what to call that other part of myself... Ok, I will call her my internal what? I don't know. Any suggestions? My responsible nurturer. Yeah, she is so weak compared to that willful daughter/rebel girl that constantly holds the reigns.

Interesting. I give in to this tantrumy part of myself again and again, making unhealthy choices to appease they craziness and I do this with Sadie too which I know is not good, because I am strengthening the same part of her personality that does not serve her highest good. So for both of us, I am working on loving ways to change the way I operate. Gently and with love.

I would just like to give a big shout out and thank you to Havi Brooks whose blog is one of the most life saving things I have ever stumbled upon. Thank you Havi! You are such a healing force in my world and I am forever greatful for you. =)

Ok, well that felt really good. I am now off to let my inner loving mother do her work.

Peace out and love to you all.

Sami 0xx0

Baked Perogy Pie

2011-04-15T23:26:00.000-07:00

OK, take an onion, chop it up.
Take a 1/2 pack of bacon, fry it up.
In a different pan fry up that onion in a lot of butter.
Put a big pot of water on to boil.
Mind your bacon and onions.
Grate some cheese.
Turn the oven to 375.
When the water boils, put your perogies in. I did 20.
Once the onions are soft and browned to your liking throw in a 1/2 cup or so of frozen peas into the pan with the onions.
Don't let the bacon burn, once it is done blot it as well as you can with paper towel and chop it up into yummy bite size pieces.
Move the peas and onions into another bowl and once those perogies float up top the top of the water, strain them and fry them up in the onion pan. Add more butter if necessary.
Once those perogies are toasty and brown put them in your favorite baking dish, put the onions on and mix it up and sprinkle on the bacon, top with cheese and bake it until it is all bubbly and done. Serve it with sour cream or your favorite plain yogurt.
Enjoy!!

Just for The Record

2011-01-26T10:56:00.001-08:00

Being a mom is a lot harder than working full time for money. I now fondly remember the days where I could get up at 7 am and immediately have a shower without worrying about if there would be enough hot water left for the offspring, then leaving the house completely unencumbered by bags of clothes, diapers, toys and how it felt to stroll down the street without a stroller weighing 40 lbs or more. To get on a bus and not inconvenience the elderly and many others. To earn more than $300 every 2 weeks. To stop for coffee without the fear of missing naps, meals and appointments, to be able to shop without a constant soundtrack of whining, crying and answerless questions. I remember those things.

But now? Well, waking up to the most beautiful person I have ever seen standing by my bed saying "Hi mom" and climbing in with her teddy and curling right up to me, that is something I will always remember. The feeling of my heart swelling with pride listening to her funny, sweet, little voice replaying conversations we have had with her fisher price little people. I will never forget that. As a baby when she first started smiling, at me! That little tidbit will never cease to bring tears of gratitude to my eyes. Yes, the frustration at feeling that I am unable to stop her from doing stupid potentially harmful things (like eating fuzz balls of the couch) is awful. The fear that I am failing her as a disciplinary figure and that she will grow up to be a giant jerk is paralyzing at times. The constant quest to nourish this phenomenon that is my daughter physically, emotionally and mentally is the most daunting things I have ever even considered let alone done.

It is the most ordinary thing we do. Grow up, meet a lover, procreate. So ordinary, so hard and so amazingly rewarding. I am writing this post from a perspective and place of a lot of tired, a lot of love and a lot of what the heck am I supposed to do? Maybe I need to get rid of my couch. Time outs are killing my soul.

The time out doesn't go smoothly here. It turns a simple step for correcting behavior into an all day soul sucking, emotion frying, energy draining war. I am a zombie writing this post. She seems fine now, those 2 year olds, they sure know how to bounce back. Good for her. I have made myself a promise that I wouldn't abuse substances as a coping mechanism. Chocolate isn't a substance that can be abused though is it?

Heart Flow

2011-01-13T21:19:00.000-08:00

Today I feel so many things at once, but angry isn't one of them. Thank you everyone for the sweet sweet out pouring of love. It makes a difference. I have healed up so fast! So fast. Tuesday felt like a spaceship landed on me, Wednesday felt like I had a minor surgery and today well, I feel almost like nothing even happened. I am taking some beautiful advice from a wonderful woman I am lucky to know and I am embracing my pacemaker and all the steps and people that brought us together. We are ONE. ha. Well it is a treasured wee robot keeping me alive so what is there not to love hey? I have had some anger. Probably a pretty normal reaction to the fear that comes with having a heart that needs a wee robot. So that's fine, but it isn't where I want to stay. Thank you all so much, every person who has graced me with any word
that I needed to hear, the perspectives that I am getting are all very healing, very helpful. Anger seems to be a pretty common fall back stance for me so I am not saying that there won't be flares, but hopefully I will move through things and not get stuck on one spot, spinning my wheels over the same thing for years and years.
peace out friends. xoxo =)

Heart Block

2011-01-11T20:52:00.000-08:00

I am sad. And sore. My heart doesn't work properly since having open heart surgery to "correct" some congenital birth "defects". I am bitter about this fact. I can't seem to make myself believe that that surgery was the correct thing for me to do. I really didn't want to. Every speck of my being screamed "DON"T DO IT!"But I did of course because that is what you do when the doctors tell you that it must be done. And I know that I can't undo it and I know that bitterness will kill you and I don't know for sure that I wouldn't in fact now be completely dead, Sadie unborn, if I hadn't in fact had the original surgery. And I know that I should be feeling gratitude, I want to be feeling nothing but gratitude for the fact that I am here, on this beautiful Earth with my beautiful people. But I had to have CPR again yesterday when my heart stopped beating during a supposedly simple procedure to swap out the old pacemaker for a new one and I am sad and sore.
So for those of you that know me, and I am guessing if you are reading this blog you do please don't be upset if I didn't tell you about this latest surgery. It was meant to be a quick little in and out procedure. Snip snap seem so to speak.
You know that I really believe that everything that happens has meaning. Opportunity for spiritual growth. And I just feel like I am starting right into my blind spot unable to see what is there.
I have a tendancy to be either very emotional and passionate or nonchalant and detatched and I felt very detached in regards to this preceedure despite my belief that I would either be fine or I would be gone. I detatched myself from the belief that my heart was gong to stop once they detached the pacemaker. I did write a letter to Sadie while I waited for the appointment until I began to get too emotional in front of a bunch of strangers, which is funny because 10 minutes later I was sitting in nothing but 2 hospital gowns and those stupid paper booties in front of and along with everyone else in that room. It is a good eye opener. I thought I was a person who did not in fact care about what other people think. But I guess I hate to be seen as weak or incapable which makes me act like a spazz and put myself in situations where I am weak and incapable.
I was feeling rather detached or fine about the outcome and happenings of this latest heart of Sami episode too until I talked to my mom and she confirmed that they did in fact do CPR to get my heart going again. CPR hurts! I sort of thought that they must have just from how my whole body feels like I got hit by a truck but it is easy to not think about the semi obvious. It seemed nicer to think that my heart has life in it of it's own accord and did in fact just spontainiously start beating again. But no, with out this little miracle of science I would be dust, or worm food or maybe at best your guardian angel. Harhar. [(sorry) I do pride myself on my dark humor.]

Well, I can feel my ego tall and looming but I am going to put this out there anyhow. Cuz it is all trapped inside me and if you can't express your pain into the weirdness that is the internet then what can you do?

Whoop...

2010-08-27T21:35:00.000-07:00

I'd posted today. Really I did, I meant to post here, but I didn't notice that I was signed in for www.intentionaladornments.blogspot.com and the post ended up there. Click here if you want to read it.

Dada and Mommy- by Sadie

Pet Moss

2010-08-11T15:53:00.000-07:00

Cute hey??

2010-06-09T15:00:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile! I am just hanging out with the lovely Sadie, we are listening to Samantha Crain and playing with one of the most annoying toys known to womankind.

Vancouver 2010

2010-03-04T00:38:00.000-08:00

Well all my Olympic dreams came true. One the 1 day we went downtown to be a part of the mayhem the Mascots were skating at Robson square. Then on the way home we stopped at London Drugs to find that the remaining stuffies that I need were more than half price. Thanks to my lovely friend Diana I attended the very first Victory Ceremony at BC place and saw Nelly Furtato. And it was nice that BOTH hockey teams won gold. Go Canada!!

All I want Eludes Me

2010-02-05T23:46:00.000-08:00

Gosh, I can't sleep. This is such a problem for me these days. Everyday all day long all I long for is bed. I could lie down and close my eyes at anytime during the day and sleep. At bed time it just doesn't feel the same. Where is that coziness that is in the bed during the day. I lie down at night and it just doesn't feel as sweet and soft. During the day sirens, helicopters, the radio, it doesn't matter what sounds are about but at night the smallest thing wakes me or irritates me. Sadie has a new game she likes, well actually it is an add on to a game she likes. She loves to jump on the bed. We will be in the living room and she will come up to me, grab my hand, say jump? and start tugging me towards the bedroom, so I put her up on the bed and she jumps and laughs. Now after a few jumps she will say Nap? and lie down with her head on my pillow and I will tuck her in and then she pats Mark's pillow beside her and say This? and I have to lie down beside her and get under the blankets too. My favourite right?? Well, no. As soon as I am in and next to her, thinking that this is indeed my version of heaven (well one version) she gets up and says jump? again and so the cycle continues. There is about 3 seconds of lying down next to her before we are up and jumping again. Oh well. It is all so cute I don't really mind. I really thought I'd sleep easily tonite. If I'd known I was going to have a hard time maybe I would have started drinking white russians at dinner. haha.

Life is Sweet!!

2010-02-01T23:36:00.000-08:00

It all just gets better and better.

Back to The Garden

2010-01-18T20:57:00.001-08:00

I am officially obsessed with this game and song.
Make sure to turn on your sound.

2010-01-14T15:37:00.000-08:00

OK, I just want to apologize. I have felt bad since... I don't want anyone to renounce thier faith. I have had problems with religion but if you don't then great. Ha, it is hard for me to say that, but I want to mean it. Free Will after all. The fact that we have a choice whether to evolve or not, that is what separates us from the animals and plants. They don't need a choice because why would you choose not to evolve?? Well wordy brains and concepts offer alot potential reasons for staying dense. But I love many Christians with all my heart and I feel bad to have potentially offended any of them. Well, if it weren't for the fact that I hooked this blog up to Facebook I wouldn't worry because no one would ever see it. And I love Jesus, but not the religion that His Existence spawned. But again... Which is stronger for me? Freedom of speech and expression or if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.
I will just leave you with this link. Enjoy.. it is music. =)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy6iwP9Ux3A

Let me get this off my chest, really OFF please!!!

2010-01-09T22:56:00.000-08:00

Well I went to bed at 9 pm. I have an extreme lack of energy right now. I feel mentally motivated but lack the physical energy and ability to carry on with my plans. It has been an on going issue my whole life. I want to pull through more energy and use it well, but then I find myself back in fronto f this computer cycling between my email, twitter, facebook and etsy. There is nothing so inspiring and frustrating as looking at all the wonderful things on Etsy and being so inspired to create but wasting time instead. OK, so ya, I went to bed at 9 om and I read more Eckhart Tolle. I was enjoying the book but feeling like he was missing something vital. Well then I got to the parts about pain bodies. And I don't want to split hairs with anybody about terminology but just him mentioning the female collective pain body sent a big thank you through my being. My ego and my part of the female pain body doesn't want revenge, only acknowledgement and a renoucement of the current and past popular forms of Christianity. I know!! Why read books like this if I don't want to get over the witch burnings and all the other belittlement of Woman kind?? Well, I just want an acknowledgement of all the shit that has gone down and continues to go down and let's just cut it out. The Inquisition was real, the Holocaust was real, the residental schools were real, we really did lock up Canadians of Japanese decent up at Hastings park. And I am constantly feeling about it. I am mad about it and I want to feel ok to let go of it, but it seems wrong to just let it go when there or so many who would rather act and think that these things don't, didn't matter. That they didn't happen? That they weren't such a big deal, but they are the very things that keep our societies insane. And I am so uneducated about the rest of the world but you know what I mean. It happens, it is happening.No pictures today kids. Peace out.

Happy Solstice!!

2009-12-21T21:36:00.000-08:00

Can anyone tell me some traditions that celebrate winter solstace other than Christmas? I wish to be outdoors with many loved ones with lots of food, drink and a big bonfire. Alas I am in my living room a story off the ground, alone with my thoughts as my family sleeps. Well sleep this long night thru, tomorrow we welcome back the Sun.

Gorgeousness Abound!!

2009-12-04T15:34:00.000-08:00

I feel blessed to have days where absolutely everything seems beautiful and good. Today was a day like that. We had an early start and went to toddler time at the Firehall Library where the much beloved Susie was performing for the weebs. Then we hurried off to Cafe Artigiano for much needed coffee and lunch where we met our friend Louisa and then we sauntered off toward home in the amazing sunshine. Oh yes, this week, life is beautiful.

Thursday

2009-11-26T13:23:00.000-08:00

Well we went to the park for a little playtime and to take some pictures for the Etsy shop but after 2 pictures of the Most Adorable Daughter the batteries died. Oh well we still got to swing and run.

Blessings and Blocks

2009-11-22T23:04:00.000-08:00

Holy cow have I ever been neglecting my blogs.

You know what is going on? I can't catch up. I no Martha Stewart. No Martha Stewart.

Order eludes me. People often comment that I have such a nice energy. They feel comfortable and happy around me. It is easy to feel close and share intimacies with me, yet it seems to me that whatever dimention of energy that affects the physical plane of stuff must be great scribbily masses around me. If I were to go into your home just after you have tidied up and put everything in it's place in neat piles all 90 degree angles to each other and were to step out of the room to put on tea, you would come back to find me in the midst of clutter and tangles. I know it seems like a simple thing. Put things in thier place and tidy as you go but I swear! I just can't seem to do it. My awareness is somewhere eles. I am mindful of the most subtle emotional shift in the room but oblivious to the trail of disorder I create. I sit here, the keyboard is in the middle of piles of reciepts, tangles of headphone and ipod cords, empty mugs and cups, decks of cards, cd cases, CDs, business cards and books. If I turn my head to the left there is the ever present pile of clean but unfolded laundry on the chair where no one ever sits. The toys are all contained against the east wall thanks to Mark, my work table is a place of confusion. I can sit there and be so overwhelmed by insiration and befuddlement that I just have to get up and do something eles. I don't know where things go. A spot for inanimate objects does not naturally make itself known to me. I have a beautiful set of shelves that covers a whole wall of my home and at least 4 are just stuffed full of I don't even know what and most others are full of things that have no day to day function. I have been working really hard to keep the kitchen clear for the morning. Although I dread it, I can keep the kitchen somewhat tidy because there at least there is a natural order of where to put things. If the kitchen is dirty or chaotic in the morning my whole day is tainted with stress and unhappiness. Let's not even think about the bedroom. So throughout my life, on and off and to varying degrees I have suffered some anxiety and depression and I know that it is directly linked to this phenomenon of mental overwhelm I experience as a result of my own existence. I think really that it comes down to a lack of discipline and perserverance, but also it connects to my feelings of life being short and time being precious, which I know is ridiculous because the clutter and confusion stop me from doing the things that I really want to do, the things that I feel will make my life rich, happy all that. The clutter makes me so grumpy and unhappy yet it is so hard to jsut clear it up. It is crazy and I am tired of it. Mark has suggested I take one of those "Clear your Clutter" workshops. He is probably right. Not that I am ever planning on being medicated for this issue, but isn't there a pill that you can take that will lift you out of the mental fog and lend you the energy and ability to get the job done? Why do all the medications have to be 24/7? Why not just a little 4 hour dose that will allow you a window of clarity without altering you permanatley with awful risk and side effects? I can take tylonal for pain but what can I take for laziness and overwhelm? Well, that is my rant about myself for today. If you have any tips please send them my way. Except for the obvious solution of hiring a house keeper because I have thought of that again and again but it isn't feasable and it doesn't create the internal shift I seek.

PS- check out the Strombo show on CBC radio 2. It is great!!

Never Turn Your Back On a Toddler

2009-09-07T09:37:00.000-07:00

In just one harmless moment, lunch can become the yogurt helmet!!

Random

2009-09-05T21:35:00.000-07:00

Monday :)

2009-08-24T22:03:00.000-07:00

My daughter is so cute!! This whole blog has pretty much become the Sadie show, as has my life. I don't mind about the blog and I love it about my life. It is such a pleasure just to look at her. When she comes up and hugs me life is perfect. She understands everything I say to her now. She puts her hand to her open mouth and makes a question sound when she is hungry and then she walks to the fridge or the cupboard where the cheerios are. I tell her to go sit in her seat and she goes right to her booster seat and sits down attempting to do up the belt. She is a finicky eater though and it will be good when she can tell me what she wants. Today she brought me her bathing suit so I put it back in her dresser and she brought it out again, so I put it on her. She wore it over her little onsie outfit today. It was cute. As you can see.

Sadie Plays The Piano!!

2009-08-23T10:54:00.000-07:00

Well I put that baby in her bed almost 1/2 an hour ago and I can still hear her chatting away. Why won't she just sleep?? Well here is an older video from when we went to Bath Ontario for Grandpa Spooner's 70th birthday. Enjoy!!

2009-08-17T16:54:00.000-07:00

This last week hasn't been the best week of my life. I have been struggling with the amount of energy I have versus the amount of energy I need. Having no physical or mental or emotional energy is hard. The result of this lack has been little speaking, no tolerence for idiocy coming from those I do not know or love, little patience with those I do. But anyways, today I am starting to feel better. When I see people driving into the intersection almost hitting pedestrians on the walk signal I can keep breathing, the risk of a stroke has passed I think. As much as I would prefer to avoid it, I am doing housework that begs my attention but I just heard this story on CBC the road and I remember the hopelessness of the situation. Tom Power? just related a Bob Dylan tale. I am going to relate it to you now. So Bob Dylan rolls into New Jersey, I don't know if he is doing a show or what, or if he comes from there or what, but he is walking around checking things out. His old neigborhood or whatever, so some lady sees someone she doesn't recognize and calls the cops. Next thing you know the police pull up and start asking Bob for his ID. Well the old guy doesn't have his ID and the 24 year old cop has never heard of Bob Dylan and into the back of the car he goes to be brought to the hotel he claims to be staying at to see if anyone can vouch for him. Can you believe that?!? The story was related I think because the DJ couldn't believe that someone hadn't heard of Bob Dylan. I am thinking that Bob Dylan, this guy who sings about the things Bob sings about can't even walk around outside without getting thrown into a cop car. I am sorry but WTF?? oh boy. Then the news starts and some voice tells me that according to a new study that a recession is not bad only for the economy but it is bad for your health as well. Holy crap I just can't believe this world. I could go on. The ads for medication?? Like hello?!? How much clearer do they need to be? They want us to die. One way AND another, they are going to kill us. By the grace of God...

I know I am forgetting the very thing, the very purpose of this stint on Earth. I know it! So for those of you comfortably aquainted with God please say a prayer for me, that I will remember that really, it is all ok. Let my heart grow bigger than my brain so I can get through this lifetime in this time and place...

City Gardens

2009-08-15T23:26:00.000-07:00

Vancouver has alot of community gardens around. They are all very lovely. On Friday we were walking through the one on W 6th in the area of Burrard. People are growing apples!! I didn't get a picture of the apple trees I saw, but I have to tell you I was very impressed by the apples. I did get some shots of some lovely tomaters. Yum. Also squash and wild blackberries right by the old train tracks. It was a nice mellow overcast day, just perfect I thought.

Sad Nap Time

2009-08-13T10:49:00.000-07:00

Sometimes putting the baby down for much needed nap doesn't go smoothly....

Sadie Walks.

2009-08-12T12:40:00.000-07:00

For the Grandparents who live far away!!

I am making a concious effort to not call the baby crazy. I mean it only in a nutty fun kind of way, but I don't want her to feel like she is not normal. The sweetie pie!!

Nothing New

2009-08-07T16:25:00.000-07:00

Is it Friday already? Yes it is. Well I have not much going on to post here. But here is a photo from our last McNeill trip. I don't think I put this one up here.

If you want to see something new, nice and not our smiling faces, go here: http://www.intentionaladornments.blogspot.com/

peace out friends and foes!!

I Won!!

2009-08-03T23:11:00.000-07:00

I have a new buddy coming to live with us. I won him from Rosemoo! She did a little giveaway where you had to come up with something funny for a caption, and I guess she thought I was funny. SO once he gets here I will do a post to introduce you all to him. I have promised to adorn him a little, so I will see what he wants or needs when he gets here. For Now I am working on a little owl for Sadie's little bird house that she got for her B-day from Auntie Jan. The little owlie is going to match her pants.

Here We Are, This is All

2009-07-27T16:10:00.000-07:00

Well I haven't been posting because I have no pictures of anything interesting or current, but time is going by and I really don't want to let this blog get to dusty so here are a few shots from my phone. For those of you interested in the goings on of our blessed lives.

Going Around the Bend

2009-07-16T09:42:00.000-07:00

Too much stuff, not enough space. Too many ideas, not enough ambition, not enough talent. Too much cleaning, not enough energy. I should be whizzing around my place like Mr. Clean on ritalin but instead here I am. Indulging as usual. Pretending like life hasn't taken at 180 degree turn. As if I were unemployed for the sheer slothiness of it. Well, I realized last night, that despite all the creative ideas and wonderfully inspiring projects I see out there, I just have no knack for sewing and it would be wise to stop collecting things that imply a long and prolific future at it. I have 2 quilts that need finishing and perhaps 1 more mermaid could be born, but other than that, I just gotta give it up. Hey Shael, do you need any fabric or bits of yarn? This stuff is taking up too much space. I have no space and the clutter is driving me crazy. Wearing me down. Sucking the energy out from my body and turning it into a cement straight jacket around my heart. Jewellery and cleaning up after the Wee Miss is enough. For someone who has only been on this planet for 1 year, she really has alot of things. And if she takes after me then it is only going to get crazier.

Party In the Park!

2009-07-12T11:10:00.000-07:00

Thank you to everybody who came to Sadie's Birthday in the park. We had a wonderful time.

1 Year Old!!

2009-07-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Sadie's first birthday. Can you believe it? I am having trouble, it seems so surreal. But surreal or not it was a lovely day. There were presents, Aunties, cousins, Granma's and owl pants. What more could a wee girl want? We will have a little party on Saturday where Sadie's first cake experience will happen. Oh the things that shape a girl's life.

Holidays!!

2009-07-06T14:15:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday we came home from a 5 day trip to Port McNeill to visit my dad and stepmom. We drove up on Wednesday with our friend Dar and her 2 girls and Stacey and her daughter. 3 moms, 1 dad and 4 daughters!

We enjoyed nice weather in a deserted park. The park had a big grassy area, swings, a merry go round, bouncy animals to ride, a big slide and not a soul to be seen. You would never find such a lovely park empty on such a nice day here in the city! It is always nice to go to the North Island and enjoy Nature in a way that you just cannot do here. Mark went fishing with Dad and caught a juicy, tasty 18 lbs salmon and I got to do a little kayaking with Marg and Linda.

Sadie got to enjoy hanging out in a blow up pool, we hung out on the beach, a beautiful beach of ocean tumbled stones and we ate a yummy summer dinner featuring the delicious salmon caught by Mark.

Sadly the weekend zipped by and before we knew it we were at the tiny airport in Port Hardy and boarding the mini but not too mini plane for the sweet 1 hour flight home. Sadie has flown quite a few times already, but this time she enjoyed looking out the window and marveling at the mountains and clouds that were below us. I wonder what she thought of that.

Where is the Green Sheep?

2009-06-30T10:56:00.000-07:00

Well Aunt June, we had to empty the whole toy box, but we found the green sheep!

(and a pirate, and an assortment of bugs.)

Perfect Day

2009-06-26T16:07:00.001-07:00

Isn't it amazing the most awful of nights can morph into the most perfect of days? Sleep was 2 hours times 3 times with an hour break for crying at around 5 - 6 am, but now? Baby slumbers peacefully for the second time today, she ate an amazing amount of lunch, I updated my Etsy site with all the beautiful new pics, I am posting here and when Sadie wakes up we are going to meet her daddy and have a nice Sushi dinner out on the town. The sun is back, literally and figuratively. Peace out Earthlings!! xox

Bad Blogger

2009-06-23T08:56:00.000-07:00

Over 2 weeks! Oh my, I am not doing very well on keeping you all entertained am I? Sorry about that. I just have been uninspired lately. Working with a bare minimun amount of energy. But don't fret I am working to turn it around. Sadie's birthday is just around the corner. How fast time goes by. This just might be the idea that is really sucking the life out of me. Everyday the list of things to do grows rather than shrinks and the fun things that don't involve the amazing mantle of motherhood remain basically untouched. Thoughts buzz around the cluttered landscape of my mind but these thoughts are not finding a home in reality. I figure I need more coffee for energy, a housekeeper for time but what will hold a thought in my head for longer than 3 minutes. My thoughts are like debris in a unsettled ocean, bobbing to the surface only to sink back down after just a glimpse. I need something like ritalin but without the pharmacutical stigma and delivery system. Maybe meditation would help but I don't have the discipline for that.

Oh well, in approximately 4 years Sadie will start school and maybe there will be a bit of myself to salvage still. In the meantime I am just going to enjoy this sweetest of all things, being Sadie's mama.

Home Again Home Again Jiggity Jig

2009-05-31T19:56:00.000-07:00

We are back!!

After a long day of air travel we have come home to a stinky apartment. It just doesn't smell like home. We left a screened window open a crack for fresh air but it seems that in our absense the landlord has pulled the old facade off of the outside wall and my place was covered in nasty dust that smells like old, stinky, unwashed nastiness. I dusted but the smell is lingering. What a drag.

But on the plus side out little patio garden is looking nice thanks to my friend Diana who came and watered while we were away.

Sadie is a trooper! The poor dear is just completely tuckered out after all the nappless adventures we had with Grandma and Grandpa, the grueling day of air travel, an unfamilar bed to sleep in(or not), and a 3 hour time change. I am sure she is happy to be back in her cozy little bed.

I am feeling almost as tired, but check back soon, I am going to post whatever pictures we managed to get. I found a nice little bead store in Kingston and I will put up some pictures of the treats I got over at http://www.intentionaladornments.blogspot.com/

Have a great night!!

Bath

2009-05-23T19:12:00.000-07:00

I don't mean the tub!! Tomorrow morning we will be boarding a plane to Toronto and then another to Kingston. From Kingston we will drive to Bath Ontario for a week long visit with Grandma and Grandpa Spooner. We are very excited! I can't wait to see Grandma and Grandpa's reactions to Sadie who has grown and changed so much in the last 3 months. And Aunt June will freak out since she hasn't seen Sadie since Sadie was 6 weeks old. I can't even believe how much Sadie has changed and I am with her every day.

I Love Cake!!

2009-05-16T19:24:00.000-07:00

Well who doesn't really? I made a cake using a recipe I found online. The recipe just listed the ingredients and the temp at which to bake it. It didn't say combine all the dry ingredients and slowly fold in the wet or anything fancy like that. It didn't even tell how long to bake it which was almost a problem. I thought the temperature was high but went with it and the cake was done in about 13 minutes. I wasn't even planning on checking the cake until halk an hour went by but I was smelling burning so I checked it 15 minutes in and it was already a wee wee wee bit burned. I don't care, it will just remind me of marshmallows over an open fire.

If you live in Vancouver or the surrounding area's and you need a special custom cake for that special event then you need to check out this blog. Tara, a wonderful lady I used to know is an amazing cake artist. Check out her fun and delicious cakes here.

I was searching for recipes involving marshmallows because there is half a bag in the cupboard taking up room and I cam across this cake recipe:

COCA COLA CAKE

2 c. sugar

1 c. butter (2 sticks)

2 eggs

2 c. flour

3 tbsp. cocoa

1 c. Coke

1 tsp. vanilla

1/2 c. buttermilk

1 tsp. baking soda

1 c. marshmellows (sm. size)

Cream butter and sugar; add eggs and beat well. Bring Coke and cocoa to a boil then add to the butter mixture, add vanilla, buttermilk, flour baking soda and marshmellows last. This batter will be very thin. Pour into a well greased pan approximately 13x9x2 inches and bake 350 degrees until the cake test done 20 to 30 minutes. Ice while cake is hot.

Frosting:

1/2 cup butter

1 tablespoon cocoa

6 tablespoons Coca-Cola

1 box confectioner's sugar, (1pound)

1/2 cup chopped pecans

Frosting: In a saucepan, bring butter, cocoa, and Coca-Cola to a boil. Stir in the sugar and mix well. Stir in nuts. Spread over the cake while both cake and frosting are still warm. Serves about 16.

I didn't make this cake tonite but still ended up with a cake that tastes a bit like marshmallows.

TIME

2009-05-14T15:54:00.000-07:00

Ellie's dad the police officer titles this picture "Say No to Drugs".

I wish I knew how to make the song "Time" by Tom Waits play during your viewing of this post. Time. I don't have alot of it. I fugure 5 minutes before the beloved wee girl wakes up.

This weekend is our little cousin's 1st birthday. I was watching the wonderful invite to her party, it scrolled through pictures of her whole year and tears came to my eyes at the thought of our babies growing up so fast. Man this year flew by. Sigh... So I have been feeling slightly sad and anxious so I have added a link to this site. Back flower remedies are helpful for me when I have mild emotional disturbance. I recommend them. I think I will get myself some hornbeam to deal with this everlasting issue of mine. It is too lovely out to be sad right? I was reading older posts today and I was laughing at what a nut I am. Haha. Sometimes you feel like a nut, other times you feel like a bag of %*#@.

Monday after Mother's Day

2009-05-11T14:13:00.000-07:00

I need to get in the habit of toting my camera around so I have something good to put up here! It seems that even if I have the camera, I don't have a spare hand or second. Well I had a lovely first Mother's Day, complete with brunch, chocolate and my mom. I wish I had some pictures to show you but I don't. However, my in-laws sent me a beautiful bunch of tulips and here they are:

So we are having a busy day today. A doctor's appointment for the lovey dovey in the morning and a dentist appointment for me in the afternoon. Granne is going to meet us downtown and hang out with Sadie while I get my teeth cleaned and then we are all going to meet up with Mark and have a little dinner. Meanwhile the baby is napping and mama is cooking some high protien yumminess for the wee girl.

Well that's it kids! Until next time. If you'd like to see some new sparklies go here.

A rested baby is a Happy baby.

2009-05-08T13:17:00.003-07:00

Well I had to break down and sleep train Sadie. I used to nurse her to sleep and transfer her to bed. That was sweet and all but if she woke up during the transfer, well it was a pain for all of us and the wee girl wasn't getting the rest she needed. Also she was waking every 2 hours or more and needed to be fed. I felt like a zombie and we were both getting a little frazzled. Now she falls asleep without much fuss and sleeps for anywhere between 3 - 6 hours at a time. I guess the next step will be to cut out the 1 or 2 remaining night feeds but I don't want to do that yet. I have to get her drinking other fluids more fluidly first. Another great thing is that if she wakes up during her nap, she often falls back asleep on her own. I used to run in the second I heard her make a peep, but now I wait and half the time she falls back asleep. I live in an apartment that is right next to another apartment and Sadie's room is next to not 1 but 2 doors that are slamming every other minute. It drives me crazy. So she had been sleeping for just under an hour and someone came home and slammed one of those doors and she woke up, but instead of going in I left her and in 4 minutes she was back asleep. Yeay! Time enough for me to write this post. SO I have to thank my friend Diana for encouraging me and sympathizing with me when I couldn't stand to let her cry. I had to restart the whole process a bunch of times. But Di was right, it has all worked out for the best.

Sleep comes a little easier now.

2009-05-08T13:17:00.001-07:00

2009-05-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

I'VE BEEN TAGGED!!!
I was Tagged ByJess over at Casa de la Tonteria...

What’s your current obsession? Coffee. I recently started drinking coffee again and everyday I think about what place I am going to go to and what type of coffee am I gonna have. I am hoping that the coffee obsession will phase out the chocolate obsession. We will see...

If you could do any job in the world and know you’d be 100% successful, what would it be? Jewellery designer and potter.

What are you wearing today? I was wearing my black turtleneck and jeans and I was sweating my ass off and felt like I was going throu menopause. Now I am wearing my blue sweats and black tank top.

Why is today special? Today was special because Sadie and I went to baby fest for Roots of Empathy. Fun!

What would you like to learn to do? I would like to learn how to have more energy and feel motivated more often than I do.

What’s for dinner tonight? Tacos.

What’s the last thing you bought? Lettuce, a tomatoe and a bag of yellow corn chips.

What are you listening to right now? The TV. I am watching Bones.

What’s your most challenging goal? Probably getting my drivers licence. I dread it...

What do you think about the person who tagged you? I think Jess is an amazingly strong and adorable woman who has time and time again kicked the ass of shitty circumstances and situations and who rises to every challenge that comes her way with love and fierceness and I wish her every happiness and inner peace.

If you could have your house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere, where would it be? Right here in Vancouver. Is that specific enough? I think I am happy here.

What is your favorite vacation spot? I don't think I have found that yet....

What would you like to have in your hands right now? A big glass of something refreshing other than water.

What would you like to get rid of? This bizzare constanly roaming pain in my legs and back.

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? I am pretty content right here. Besides Sadie is sleeping and Mark is out so I better stay here.

What super power would you like to possess? Time travel and stopping time, like Hiro on Heros.

What’s your favorite piece of clothing? My white nightgown. I hate all my clothes...

What is your dream job? I think I answered this already. Jewellery designer.

$150---what would you spend it on? beads.

What do you find annoying? garbage trucks, leaf blowers, doors slamming...

Describe your personal style. (i wish) Sarah Conor without the guns.

Whose closet you would want to raid? This is the question I cut!

What are you most proud of? Sadie of course.

What are you planning to do tomorrow? Well, the only plan I have other than the usual routine is to meet Jackie for pie. Yeay!

Do you love LOST? yes!!

7 bloggers I’d like to know more about: OK I always dread this part because I don't actually know 7 bloggers and of those I do know I don't know if they like these things like I do. But here they are: Shael, Jackie, .. ok those are the 2 people aside from Jess that I know...

So all you people I know get blogging!!

Friday Saturday Sunday

2009-05-03T19:47:00.000-07:00

Well, it was a full weekend.

1. I had a bout of paranoia in regards to the swine flu. I cancelled my babysitters but

2. went to the Whole Bead Show anyway.

3. Later that day my friends Dar and Joe from the island came. This was Joe's 4th time running the Vancouver marathon. In the evening we went out to Earl's for dinner. The only reason I even mention this is to complain about the fact that they are not baby friendly. They only have booster seats not highchairs, so we had to wrestle with Sadie while eatting burgers. The atmosphere was pretty happy, we were in the restaurant during the first period of the hockey game while things were still looking hunky dory.

4. Today we rented a Zipcar and bought some plants for our balcony and did some grovery shopping at the Superstore. What a mob scene that is!

5. I just want to give a little Happy Birthday shout out to my wife, Jackie, Happy Birthday, let's go eat cake!!!

6. And I made myself a new necklace!!

Weekend Fun

2009-04-26T19:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I wanted to attempt a mini quilt this weekend, inspired by this amazing lady but I got distracted by family outtings and a new beading project. Maybe I can try for next week if Malka's mini quilt Monday becomes a regular feature. Although I should not even be thinking about a new quilt, mini or not, I really want to finish the 2 that I have already started.

Oh well. I am not complaining. I had a great weekend with my beloveds. We had a fun time with friends at Granville Island and got to see all the kids interacting a bit. I love watching all the kiddo's together. Anyway, this is Vancouver! It is bound to rain days on end. Then there will be plenty of time to quilt.

Longing...

2009-04-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

For another room. How I wish for a room of my own, a bright little room where I can set up my stuff and leave it all set up. A room where I can take up every available bit of space and more and not feel like I might be drving Mark out of his mind. I am glad that he still finds it amusing that as soon as he creates any space in the apartment I can fill it up so it seems like it was never there at all.

Now I am not saying that this said room would be tidy. No no no, far from it. Sure as the sun it would be a messy, cluttered, unorganized chaotic den of creativity. But it would be mine and it would (theoretically) be contained.

The room would need to be large enough for 2 different stations. Ideally 3 butI realize that 3 is entirely unrealistic. I don't currently sew enough to really warrent a whole permanent station for it, but I do have 2 quilts that need finishing and a few other ideas. But I for sure for sure for sure want a place to set up the beading and another space for a little silver smithing.

The space would need alot of light, at least 2 tables, many many shelves, a window for light and ventilation, preferably hardwood floors or tile. There was an instance of hot silver hitting the floor and melting the carpet. Whoops. I was thankful it just melted and that it didn't light on fire. Maybe I can turn my little balcony into the room of my dreams?

Keeping it Real

2009-04-17T18:58:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by Jess for this little simple exercise. Take a picture of yourself right now, as you are, no touch ups. Well here you go. Isn't it funny that we live in a time where you can take a picture and instantly share it with the whole world.

Grrrr..

2009-04-13T16:45:00.010-07:00

I did a whole blog post about Sadie and sleep and crying and pictures and the Truman syndrome and it somehow deleted instead of posting. I hate that! So instead of reading about how sad it is to teach a wee babe to fall asleep on her own, and my fears that Sadie may think she is the star of some badly produced reality show you get nothing. Well maybe not nothing. Here is a sweety-pie in her Easter outfit before she puked all over it and I had to change her into her sweats.

Grrrr..

2009-04-13T16:45:00.001-07:00

A Mover and A Shaker

2009-04-09T17:20:00.000-07:00

It's good she has such long bangs to hide the bonk marks. She is crawling, kneeling, teetering, falling. She dropped her little toy keyboard on her head about 4 times today. Everytime I turn around she is doing something alarming. But boy the pride. Part of the problem. She will be focusing so hard and then she turns her head as if to say, look what I can do ma! And then boom, down she goes. She can crawl up to something, pull herself up on it and then she stands there all wobbly and proud. It is amazing and exhausting.

Grandparents!!

2009-04-01T09:45:00.001-07:00

Well our wonderful visit with Grandma and Grandpa has come to an end. We really had such a great time. We did so much while they were here. Shopping and dining out and of course lots of playtime and cuddles. Every morning it was a treat to see all those faces lighting up in smiles. The beginning of our visit was extra special because there were 2 sets of Granparents here and a cousin! We went to the aquarium and had a great time looking at fishes, dolphins and a whole family of beluga whales. I can see that Sadie is going to be close with her Grandparents eventhough they live rather far away. We will be reunited in May for Grandpa Spooner's 70th birthday and until then we have skype to keep in touch. And we will see Nany and Popa Page in June or July we hope.

CatFish

2009-03-07T23:34:00.000-08:00

She is done! I sat here and looked at Etsy treasuries while I finished up this littel prezzie for my wee freind Eva in Austin. I hope she likes it.

Oh to Dream

2009-02-27T16:50:00.000-08:00

I gotta go to bed. I fear that dear daughter and I are not getting the required amount of sleep for optimal emotional response. She now, is sound asleep I hope for the best part of the next 2 hours. Me, I am reading blogs, leaking tears at stories of first days of school, gracefully received spinning wheels, lovingly made quilts. The love, compassion, anxiety, all of these conveyed emotions are hitting me in the heart and making me misty. This is how I know I need to sleep. Although I am an empathetic person, I can normally get through an afternoon of peeking into the lives of others without shedding tears. I have heard, and said myself, that this society we are living in is so out of touch with each other, headphones in, eyes glued to the screen, everybody absorbed into thier own personal electronic devices, but I have experienced these morsels of warmth and creativity through these blogs and it seems like we are really able to reach out to others and share the most important details of our lives more than we have ever been able to before. Sadie who is not even a year old yet knows her Grandparents through video calling. when she hears that boopbeepboop, she knows someone is going to be on that screen talking and waving to her. Oh, I hear her calling, I guess there will be no nap for me.

2009-02-23T19:04:00.000-08:00

Jess tagged me so here it goes.

And in the spirit of passing along the love, here's how it works:
Step 1: respond and rework -- answer the questions on your own blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.
Step 2: tag - eight other bloggers to do the same.

1) What are you wearing right now?
My red yoga pants that I never wear out of the house, the orange tank and my new dirt cheap teal velour hoodie.
2) What is your biggest fear? Losing Sadie.
3) Do you nap a lot? no
4) Who is the last person you hugged? Sadie
5) What websites do you visit when you go online? Etsy, Facebook, jess' blog, Shael's blog, Jackie's blog
6) What was the last item you bought?Ritter Sport, 2l of milk and a pint of triple chocolate hagaan daaz.
7) If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Hawaaii
8) If you could go to the Oscars, who would you want to sit next to? Keanu Reeves... (would Keanu be at the oscars?)

9) Where is the last place you went on vacation to? Bath/Kingston Ontario
10) What are you looking forward to the most right now? recieving the strand of rubies I bought off Etsy in the mail.
11) What was the last movie you watched? Coraline
12) What is the luckiest thing that ever happened to you?Meeting Mark.

13) If you had a whole day to yourself with no work, commitments or interruptions what would you do? Sleep, sew, make jewellery, go for coffee,

14) Is there a major goal you have that you haven't yet achieved? I would like to make a living from home .
15) Drinks are on the house!! What do you order? Red devil beer

16) Name one thing you would change about your life. I 'd be more loving and repectful to myself and everything/one else as a teenager and young adult.

17) Do you think machines will take over the world like in the Terminator and Dune? most likely. ;)

I changed question # 10 and added #17. You will have to go to Jess' blog to see the original #10.

I don't think I know 8 people who blog but...

Shael, Jodi, Jackie... you are it.

One of Those Days

2009-02-20T11:07:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have those days where you feel a little depressed but you know it's ok, that the glum, sad feeling is just the by-product of all the yummy but nourishment lacking things you ate the day before? Well I am having one of those days. It is a real shame too because last night Sadie and therefore mommy had record amounts of sleep. !:40am-7:50am. I hope that becomes a trend. Granne came to babysit lastnight while Mark and I saw Coraline, which I highly recommend. Animated and 3-D. It was alot of fun. Let me just say that none of the dolls I am making these days will have button eyes! So I think the best thing that I ate yesterday was a bowl of cereal at 8 in the morning. After that it was nothing but coffee, chocolate, cinnamon buns, heavy cream sauce, beer and swedish berries. Yikes! Currently I am blogging to avoid housework. Laundry, dishes, vaccuuming. It all awaits. Baby sleeps now but I am hoping to make it to 2 o'clock baby time at the library. Songs and dancing with lots of other babies to look at and clap at and gleefully scream at. Then groceries for our first official family club day. we figured, if we can make time for our book club, why not do the same for our family. So tomorrow I have 13 or more of my beloved family members coming for dinner. I hope I have enough plates!!!

The Mer's

2009-02-17T13:11:00.001-08:00

Ok, I am a bit obsessed with these merpeople. I made a boyfriend for baby Muriel. Iam completely disapointed in his arms, but I finished him anyhow. It's just the luck of the draw. Sometimes there are mishaps in creation and you just have to live with it! Sadie doesn't seem to mind that his arms are all wrong.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

2009-02-14T07:50:00.000-08:00

Well we woke up early this morning. Someone is eager to start the day. I stayed up last night putting on the finishing touches on a little dollie I made for Sadie. I think she likes her Valentine's day prezzie.

Finding Common Blog

2009-01-14T23:01:00.001-08:00

My friend Jess found me! She is playing the tag game. Check here to see her blog and 6 facts.

And it is black not white. I am a firm believer that you cannot go wrong with black. My step mom said that if her mom had seen me dressing Sadie in black she would disaprove and in theory I would agree that black isn't great for babies, but Sadie is such a cool baby that she can pull it off. I do draw the line at skulls for babies though. There will be time enough for death images when she is a teenager if she turns out to be anything like me, which I hope she doesn't. I hope she is stronger, and that she loves herself more than I did at that point in life. For her sweet sake I hope she is more like her dad. God bless his dear soul.

The Urge to Conform

2009-01-12T17:11:00.000-08:00

Almost every blog I look at is white. Most of them are craft blogs and a few are mommy blogs and alomost everyone has a white template. Why I wonder. Is it because people are making thier own templates? (something I have no idea how to do...) Is it because people are wanting the main colors in the blog to be the photos? I don't post as much as I'd like to but I like this blue template and I am sticking with it despite the fact that all these while, cream and eggshell blogs are giving me a bit of a complex.

I am wanting to post more crafty things but currently my 2 obsessions are Sadie and making jewellery and I have a different blog for the jewellery so I guess the only thing on here lately has been beautiful Sadie. I started a quilt for her when she was a fishie in my belly and then she was born 12 days early and 6 months later the quilt still sits in a pile in the corner unfinished, untouched. Everyday I mean to get back to it but I spend all my Sadie free time on the computer posting Etsy items, reading blogs, and playing Tetris on Facebook( yeesh!), or making jewellery. Oh well, there is always the next baby.

6 Facts

2009-01-07T20:05:00.000-08:00

1. Before I had a baby I played the Sims and the Sims 2 for over 7 years.
2. I drink at least 3 and sometimes up to as many as 8 cups of tea a day.
3. I love to cook new things but the second time I try to re-create the same eating experience it always sucks.
4. I am comfortable in mind bending clutter.
5. I judge people according to thier astrological signs. (a little)
6. I don't know 6 people who have blogs. =0

I do know one person with a blog who might be willing to play! Jodi, you are it!!

Here are the rules: (cut and copied from Shael)
Link to the person who tagged you.
Mention the rules.
Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about yourself.
Tag six other bloggers by linking to them.
Go to each person's blog and leave a comment that let's them know they've been tagged.

Oh I Love my New Life!

2009-01-06T13:19:00.000-08:00

I love being mom to this lovely little creature of mine. She has made everything sweeter. Watching her evolve is truly the most amazing thing. She is learning to use her voice to command. Haha. She now has a pre-cry scream. It is a warning, "the current situation is deteriorating for me and you better do something about it before I lose my mind." It is great. I am posting some beautiful pictures with thanks to Carolyn Egerszegi @ www.spilledmilkphotography.com. This lady is a wonderful photographer. I was really worried about the lack of light and space but she captured Sadie so perfectly with ease and grace. Thank you Carolyn for your fine work!

4 months already!!

2008-11-13T22:34:00.001-08:00

People told me that once you have a baby time goes by so fast. I just can't believe how fast it is really goes. I wish I could freeze time. This girl is so sweet and amazing, I am afraid I won't remember all the wonderful moments she has brought me. Right now what she wants most is to stand. Hold her hands or her waist and she stands there looking so pleased with herself. Being her mother is the greatest thing I have ever done. I wish I could slow it all down.

I had a baby!!

2008-09-01T19:46:00.002-07:00

Ok Shana, here you go.
Introducing Sadie Anne Margaret Spooner. The love of our lives.
Mark and I are happy to be this little wiggly worms parents.

Sadie Baby

2008-09-01T19:46:00.001-07:00

Pictures of the cutest baby ever!!

2008-01-13T18:53:00.000-08:00

Well thank goodness for week 13. The nausea is gone. I can think about food without wanting to hurl. How nice is that.

I was just browsing through craigslist and many things came to my attention.
Options are abundant!! There are indeed people out there wanting to buy all sorts of things. I just can't decide if I should sell my collection of jewellery making equipment or just store it for awhile.
Also I learned that Ani DiFranco is coming to town in April and will be at the Chan center and allready the only tickets available are way up in the nosebleed section, unless of course you buy through good ol craigslist. There are some great seats for $110 a ticket. And April being 4 months away it is awfully tempting. Maybe I could sell all the jewellery stuff for one night of live Ani.

Has everyone seen Juno? Go and see it. Sweetest movie of the year.

You know, I went on craigslist with the intent to find prices on main coon cats but forgot all about it when I saw that Ani was coming to town. I just pu tthis sentence in so that the picture of the cat would be relevant.

Ok Kids, take care, until next time.
Sami

Happy New Year!!

2008-01-01T00:04:00.001-08:00

Hello!!! Well I hope everybody had a great 2007. I certainly did. I turned 33. My birthday is Dec. 3, 1974. 3/3/3 and I turned 33 so I know that this is my year and to prove it, I have some news. Although I am pretty sure that the cat is out of the bag for the most part... I am 11 weeks pregnant! Exciting ya? Here is a picture of our little peanut.

The Crystal Ally Cards

2007-07-09T22:38:00.000-07:00

The Crystal Ally Cards

Quilting!!

2007-06-12T20:25:00.001-07:00

Well, I have been working on this quilt for 4 years. Actually, I didn't work on it at all last year. I am about to pull it out now and resume the crazy endevour of freestyle quilt making. Wish me luck and cheer me on.

2007-06-08T22:34:00.000-07:00

Diamond bits are a girls Best Friend

2007-04-25T20:01:00.000-07:00

This is a little quartz that we found one time up in the mountains near Port McNeill.
It had alot of other type of stone covering it that wouldn't come off with water or acid. But I took my dremel to it and now it looks like this...

The reason they call it Making LOVE!!!!

2007-04-06T23:44:00.000-07:00

I just watched the movie Children of Men. It made me want to write about a realization I had around the time my nephew was born. Babies are so sweet you know. And I find it sad and frighteneing that I only came to the realization so recently. I think that maybe most people never come to this realization. I don't know. Our reality, our focus and the way we live in the world should be for the good of the children. Is the reason it isn't because of our male dominated societies? I hate to say something like that which makes me feel that I hate to see what is actually happening. It is nicer to pretend that things aren't so bad. But they are very bad, we don't see it so much because we are so privileged being white and having money. The shit that is going on out there is really horrible. Really really bad. There is no world without children, no point ot any of it. I don't know why our reality seems to be so focused on adult life. You would think that children had no bearing on reality. It is really crazy. We need to make the world a place for children to be safe and healthy, nutured nutrtionally and emotionally. Where creativity and learning are the most important things to do. Instead the focus is on money, ownership of things, money money money, technology, borders, politics, power power power. It is all just a way to avoid looking at the fact that generally we have rejected the things that sustain us. Namely pure love and nature. By which I mean God but I don't really want to get into that so much. But I believe that this is the problem with mankind. Wholly sweeping statements Batman! The rejection of the basic for something supossedly better. But there is no better than simple and pure. Is there? For me, I am going to keep on learning how to experience and project that pure love, Spirit, without attatchments of fear and judgment. I am going to do my best to keep hope in my heart and live each day being thankful for all that is good. My inner pessimist does often get the best of me and I have problems deciphering between reality and negativity but I know there is everything to be thankful for.

Happy Belated Birthday other Cousin!!!

2007-04-05T10:43:00.000-07:00

Sheesh, I went and made a big post for Terryand I should have been sending out a big Happy Birthday to Jeremy!! Happy Birthday and Good luck on your exams Jeremy. I thought about you on your birthday during the day and I hope you had a good one. Take care :)

Hi Cousin!!!

2007-04-03T00:04:00.000-07:00

I have titled this post Hi Cousin because I think my cousin Terry is the only one who checks out my blog. However, I am sure that he is too busy these days for blog reading since he is in RCMP bootcamp becoming one of Canada's finest. So hello to you Terry, keep up the good work man!!
I am listening to a CD he recommended and it was on sale at HMV so I bought it. Iron and Wine. It is so nice, so mellow that some songs are alomst creepy, but mostly it is just really nice.
I am working on a new necklace and it has many many seed beeds and I just accidently let go of one end and Mark and I spent 15 minutes picking size 11 seed beads out of the carpet. So keep checking www.intentionaladornments.blogspot.com for more updates.
Also check out MI ( www.mi.typepad.com )for some amazing textile work. This woman is a genius with the sewing machine and I am in love with all of her creations. Also she will be at the pre mothers day craft fair on main street on the 29th of April. I will be there too, but I will be shopping not selling. Ok, well, it has been great talking to you all once again.

Welcome to Earth!!!

2007-02-14T23:22:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the world George Sarkis!!!!! Yeay!!!!
What a beautiful Valentine's present for those zany Sarkis kids. Lotsa love to the 3 of you!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

2007-02-14T22:18:00.000-08:00

I hope everybody had a nice day single or no. Although Mark is my true love and Valentine I want to dedicate this day and this post to my Heart.

Heart, I love you very much, thank you for sticking with me despite the minor damage you have taken on my account. I know that you now have a hard time communicating with your other half, as from time to time we all do. I hope that you don't mind the little device that has been put in place to ensure that your beat is felt through your entire being keeping my entire being entire and alive. I want you to know that I am going to do my part in keeping you happy and healthy to help you keep me happy and healthy. I apologize for things I may have said and felt and done towards you, any blaming angry sentiment, and killing substances, please forgive me for having and using. I will eat less ice cream and less straining things. I will exercise and let you speed up and become strong. It is my aim to live by you, through you. All my actions and decisions guided by your love and wisdom. Through you I experience life and all the wonderful and terrible things life is. Through you I balance and understand. Thank you thank you thank you.

Lots of love, :) Sami

thank you marc brown for this picture.

PROCRASTINATION

2007-01-22T11:09:00.000-08:00

PROCRASTINATION:
v. intr.
To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.

v. tr.
To postpone or delay needlessly.

I put off doing things that I like doing!!!
Unless it is completely spontaneous you just won't see me doing it. I don't even know what the problem is. It's not like I am a kid who is resisting orders from a parent. I don't know what to do with myself. It is pathological!!

Happy New Year!!

2007-01-02T10:15:00.000-08:00

Well I haven't been posting much lately. Christmas has come and gone and New Years too. I think 2007 is going to be a good year. I haven't made any New Year's resolutions but I do have a few goals in mind. Less video games and more creativiy for one. I might even get my drivers licence this year. Watch out Vancouver. I am going to really try to be neater and more organized too. This last one should make Mark happy. I hope. Also I want to spend more time with my family. You know, time is going by so fast! My cousin Devin is allready turning 11 which is crazy becasue when I moved here he was still in the belly of his mama!! And Simon is growing so fast too. So I am hoping to see everybody more. I have to say that I was truly spoiled over Christmas. And 2006 was a good year for me. It was the first full year of my life that I didn't smoke cigarettes ands it really has made a big difference. Not as much physically as you might think, but mentally and emotionally I feel so much better. More clear and free from negativity. Also I left Extra Foods after 9 years! It was really time for a change for me and now I am in a more creative situation and am looking forward to the next evolution. I feel really blessed and fortunate to be alive and so thankfull for all the goodness and loving people in my life. Wishing you all peace, love and prosperity in 2007!!!

Happy Birthday to me!!

2006-12-07T00:09:00.000-08:00

I got some new music for my birthday!!!

My Faves!! Tom's new one is called "Orphans; Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards" and it is killer of course.

Ani's is "Reprieve" and is great as always. I still have Tori's new one to look forward to also. Really get out there and pick them up.

What the ???

2006-11-15T14:12:00.000-08:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domo-kun

Cutest Baby in The World!!!

2006-11-10T22:20:00.000-08:00

Here's Simon!!!

More Silver

2006-11-09T22:06:00.000-08:00

Here is what I have been working on lately. The little bubble ring is finished and the other 2 are not finished yet.

Thank you Dominique Brechault for your wonderful class.

All you faithful readers should check out Dominique's web site. Her stuff is very beautiful and unique. www.dbrechault.com

Silver...

2006-11-09T08:56:00.000-08:00

By Penny

Penny gave me this ring becuase she is a sweetheart, and because since having surgery I have been collecting anatomical heart things. Thank you Penny!!!!!

Sweet Love

2006-10-26T02:09:00.000-07:00

Was there ever 2 people more made for each other than these 2?

Fargo

2006-10-12T23:26:00.000-07:00

Fargo at the Copper Tank

Bring your friends to listen to some Rock and Roll!!

OCTOBER 21st and again on OCTOBER 28th

New Car Smell

2006-10-12T00:43:00.000-07:00

is not one of the features of our new car. But doesn't look like it was made for us? Freedom shall be ours. Soon we will be driving hither and thither, looking for that special favorite place. Keep your eyes open cuz we could be pulling into your driveway anytime!!!

Toasted Buns

2006-10-10T21:33:00.000-07:00

I am blog surfing. There is a oven toasted portugese bun that I was eatting sitting on the desk in front of me and I can hear it. What the heck? The bun is sitting there making little crackling noises. Why? How does that happen? Very weird.

bogged down

2006-10-04T18:57:00.000-07:00

I haven't been overly inspired these days. Mostly tired. And I am so unorganized that if I wanted to create something I'd have an hours work to do to get the clutter cleaned up. I need to get another day off. I need alot of downtime to be able to perform at optimum levels. I just don't have enough time to do nothing so that I can charge up to do something. Ah well. All in it's own time I suppose. I am getting caught up on all my swaps. I went a bit swap crazy and ended up sending some out late. Sorry guys!! I hope you liked everything I sent out. I know I loved everything I got.

COLOR

2006-09-29T23:06:00.000-07:00

I love color.

LOST

2006-09-26T23:50:00.000-07:00

LOST ROCKS!!

I love this show, stranded on a desert island, man eatting polar bears, freaky sci fi people stealing kids, lesbo psycho cops, love traingles with mr right, mr wrong and the hottie con, and of course the button that must be pressed every 108 minutes so the world doesn't end. It doesn' t get much better than this kids. Don't tell me about the show, I am watching it on DVD. We just finished the 4 episodes on disc 2. I can't wait until tomorrow night for the next installment.

Fun With Paint

2006-09-21T09:08:00.000-07:00

I would love to have and learn Photoshop, but paint is fun too...

Hello Rainy Days

2006-09-20T19:29:00.000-07:00

I thought you were gone forever!!

Metal Working!!

2006-09-17T22:26:00.000-07:00

My class starts tomorrow!! I am very excited. I have a little bar of silver allready. There is this wonderful lady at Object Design, let's just call her "Penny"(heehee), and she has given me a couple lessons allready on how to make wire. I brought her all the little snippets of wire from the wire wrapping I have been doing and she melted it all down and created this beautiful blob of silver. So I kept part of it and the rest of it I have been slowly turning into wire again. It is a neat process. I was doing it manually. You have to put it through a press over and over making it longer and thinner until it is skinny enought to go through this wire template. Then you clamp the template in a vice and use these heavy tong things to grip the silver and yank it through with all your girl power. It was good fun. Thanks Penny!!! Here are some pictures of some stones I bought from ebay with high hopes of creating something GREAT. Also pictures of the above mentioned silver.

i KNoW mY nAmE is sIMOn !!!

2006-09-15T21:19:00.000-07:00

It is hard to smile when your auntie is right in your face with the flashy bright light box!!!

I am not as sad as I look right now, but everybody is laughing at me!!

Granne got me this really cool toy with blinking lights and fun songs. It is really entertaining!
Here are the latest pictures of my adorable nephew. sadly I could not get him to smile while I had the camera in my hand. He knows what it is and that it is about to blind him at any second. he is a smart guy.

Oh Happy Day

2006-09-15T20:43:00.000-07:00

Today was the day!! I have been looking forward to my first swap arriving by amil and today it did. Purple earrings, and they are alot of fun. Thank you Melissa. I can't wait for the silver ones now!

I am Sick of looking at he Sick Roses!

2006-09-14T20:39:00.000-07:00

So I am posting. This is my psuedo studio. Really it is my dining room. No wonder I am getting nowhere. I have 4 things on the go. It is a big jumbled mess, but this is me. I need to get some earth tone earrings done in the next couple days because today the swap starts. I haven't recieved the purple earrings or the silver yet, I am much looking forward to those. Today work rocked!! I got to take the wire and chain class!! How much fun is that? It isn't anything that I didn't know how to do really, but now I know how to teach the way Counrty Beads teaches. So maybe now I can teach that class. Next Thursday I get to take another class. I love it!!